December 2010

The Christmas season is upon us once again; but many times, for some people, the Christmas season rather than being a wonderful, happy time to celebrate Christ’s birth, becomes a time of loneliness and fear. When the angel announced Christ’s birth, he said, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which will be to all people.” Luke 2:10. God never intended for His people to be controlled by fear. That doesn’t mean we won’t feel it from time to time; but through Christ, we can be delivered from it, maintain victory over it, and live with great joy.

Father, what do You want to tell us about fear?

“My Dearest, Beloved Children in whom I am well pleased – As you know, it is not My will for any of you to be defeated by fear (or any other negativity). My birth, a gift to mankind, brought peace and goodwill to all, but My heart breaks when people do not accept My gift to them. I am always holding it out to them, but so many refuse to accept it by refusing to learn how to abide in Me and to cast their EVERY care upon Me. Throughout My Word, I reach out to comfort, to deliver, to keep, and to endow My power so that everyone can be more than a conqueror and live lives full of peace, joy, love, faith, hope, etc. I came to earth to show mankind how much their God loves them and will meet their every need.

“My message to My children is this, Come to Me, accept and unwrap My gift to you so you can live abundant lives – know My peace that passes all understanding – know Me and learn how to abide in Me so you are constantly nourished and can rest in Me. Let go of all your striving and fears and let Me have your life. I am bigger than anything you can ever face. Please take Me out of your box and keep your focus on Me so you can be victorious. Let this Christmas season bring you cheer, goodwill, and great joy. Do not allow yourself to be caught up in busyness but in blessedness.”

Thank You, Father! May all who read this newsletter gain victory over fear, or whatever may be troubling them. Both of the following testimonies reveal fear that was experienced, and how it was overcome.

The Unhealed Holes in My Heart Acted as a Tracking Device for the Devil

by
Michelle Kuehn

Prior to taking the CLU course Naturally Supernatural, I had an incomplete understanding of abiding in Christ. First, I saw it as being situational acts of greater faith or better self-control. As things would heat up in my life, I would handle them through my own intelligence and abilities and then go to God for what was lacking in order to get through the stressful times. He was faithful to fill in the gaps, but as things would calm down, I would get back into my groove and go on with my life. I thought abiding was knowing that Christ was with me so I could turn to Him in my time of need; which is true, but it is not complete. The first step I took in attempting to master abiding was to allow myself a paradigm shift in my understanding of this topic and to accept that I was wrong.

The greatest lesson I have learned through this course is that abiding in Christ doesn’t limit Him to come into the situations I feel I can’t handle on my own. Abiding means to live in intimate relationship – always and in everything. That was where I was failing. I had a degree of intimacy at times greater than other times. However, I am learning that there is such a depth of relationship with God that I have only touched on in some ways. There is so much more of Him to experience, and there is so much more of me that He could experience if I would simply surrender to Him completely.

This lesson has been a long time coming, and I can see how God has prepared me for it through the sequence of previous CLU classes as well as the truths He has revealed in my personal Bible studies. But it hasn’t been easy. The roadblocks I have encountered have all centered around the wounds in my heart, for I had not allowed Christ to dwell in many closed off places.

It has been very convenient to listen to the devil’s lies about who I was, am today, and where I am going; or more to the point, where I was not going. This is not abiding. Satan delighted in keeping me in a relationship that kept me broken and bound to him. If I am bound in any way, I am not free. The unhealed holes in my heart acted as a tracking device for the devil, allowing him to know exactly where I stood at all times.

Another block that I encountered was not using the journaling I had been taught. I allowed fear to rationalize why I didn’t journal regularly. Fear said, “There isn’t enough time – it takes too long to settle down and listen. What if I don’t hear anything? How can I wait to get on with my day? What if I hear something that I don’t want to hear or see the broken places that bring back the pain I am trying to suppress?” The fear that I was failing somehow kept me from abiding as I should. I overcame fear by bringing to God my entire daily existence: the laundry; swimming in the pool with my kids; relating to my husband; grocery shopping; and the mental, emotional, and spiritual crises that try to pop up all day long.

God was so patient with me! Not only did He teach me how to hear His voice through previous CLU classes but continued to teach me how to recognize the voice of fear. Naturally Supernatural brought everything full circle, and I was able to overcome this block by making the final decision to learn how to abide and to be committed to practicing that truth each day. I now give Christ the time each day and in various situations to speak openly to me without fear. It has been wonderful; for He has given me encouragement, told me how to pray for myself and others in a way I never would have prayed, and given me counsel on how to handle things coming up during the day.

One day, He gave me a word that I couldn’t quite apply at that moment, but I put it on my radar for the upcoming day. Within a few hours I received a phone call that I could have reacted to in fear; but instead, I followed what He had told me earlier. Things went beautifully, and I had great peace when it passed. But I didn’t keep that word on my radar and a later event didn’t go so well since I started to take control again. Then I remembered my instruction and turned to Him for His perspective instead of my reasoning. By His guidance, it all worked out in the end.

The most significant changes in my life are areas that were not huge obstacles, but the daily lifestyle changes in my eating habits and exercise routine. My previous “get it done” mentality put tons of pressure to change everything all at once and keep up a tremendous pace to accomplish my goal of losing weight.

God’s goal for me was to partner with Him so that I would learn how to live in Him and how to allow Him to live in me. My mentality has turned from how I could make good choices to the perspective of what would we like to eat together? This made hearing His voice and counsel in times of temptation so much easier because now I am treating my body with respect as the temple of God. I experienced the same victory over my exercise routine. It is no longer a “work out” that I do to hit a magic number on the scale; it is an enjoyable activity that we do together.

The victories I experience each day in my lifestyle changes have given me the confidence to allow God into those broken places of my heart to speak His truth, love, and healing. It hasn’t been easy; but each day, I have deliberately offered up and surrendered those places to Him as well as the fear that with healing comes the responsibility to walk in that healing. His heart is to love and nurture and heal. This, for me, is abiding in Christ.

I Stopped Living

by
Marcia Ashford

The course Counseled by God covered many of the areas in my life I have been dealing with during the past few years. I believe fear, guilt, and anger all come from the same source and have the same end result, which is separation from the love of God. I believe Satan and his helpers plant seeds in our psyche. Little nibblets of doubt are whispered in our inner ear making them appear to be truth. With the passage of time, we accept these repeated statements as fact creating a cavern between who we are and who Christ wants us to be. Satan’s desire is to separate us from the love of God. He wants to remove that sense of contentment and belonging to God and replace it with negative emotions and their resulting pain.

I grew up in a loving home with a Christian mother and father and believed there was nothing I could not do. My Mom was always my number one fan and supported me in all endeavors. Then I met Randy, as a college student, and fell in love. Life with him was heavenly. There were the happy times and the happier times. We shared years of love, laughter, and the joy of being together.

Then the day came when he had an accident and never came home again! It changed my whole life. I stopped living. The man I had loved my whole adult life was gone. Also gone was my way of life. My dad had a stroke when he heard the news. My Mom started acting possessed. She hit me, tried to have me arrested, gave away all my dad’s possessions, and ended up in the psych ward on several occasions. Our kids were teenagers, and I was alone with them! I didn’t even have the strength to get dressed mornings, and now I was a single parent dealing with two ailing parents of my own! Our precious Brooke was killed in a tragic accident. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, Randy’s mom died of grief, and his dad of suicide. It was like a hole had been ripped in the universe upon Randy’s death.

After attending many sessions with a Christian counselor, I realized I felt responsible for everyone and everything that was happening. I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I would give it to God and then take it back. There were times I asked Him why He took Randy and not me. The answer I received was that Randy was ready and I had more to do.

God, in so many ways, has continued to show me how much I am loved. The rapid, excruciating pain of change has slowed down, and much prayer and soul searching led me to CLU and classes like this. I know the answers I search for are in the Lord. In this course, I can pick any chapter and read about an area I have been dealing with over the past six years.

Chapter Four deals with healing past hurts. I found it fascinating that Mary spent her first three months of pregnancy in virtual isolation surrounded only by God and family. She needed this quiet time to develop a settled, loving spirit in the fetus and to prepare her own spirit and body for raising a child. Yet at a time of grief, we are expected to go through visitation, a funeral, and resulting legal matters in a couple of weeks and then go back to work and function like nothing has happened. We are supposed to stuff our emotions, but only for them to come out later as some disease or mental issue.

We, as a society, bring a lot of the issues discussed in this course on ourselves. The virtual mask is to be put on in public while burdened with inner pain and trying to keep a smile on our faces every day at work. Stuffed emotions bring about anger and its resulting depression. There are all kinds of pills to take to help cushion our pain. When I lost Randy, I was offered pink ones, blues ones, and finally the Lexapro white ones. None of these filled the void in my heart and God seemed a universe away.

We come to God burdened and pray for relief. When we experience relief, we become frightened and many times take back our burden simply out of fear. Holding on to past hurts is a major situation for me. Over the years, I have taken steps forward only to fall back into the old “safe, miserable feeling” routine. I see or smell something that reminds me of the old days, and off I go! Counseled by God has helped me move forward with a more consistent pace.

The “what ifs” are a frightening factor of being alone for the first time in my life. I found the devil loves to send the “what ifs” out around 2:00 a.m. in the morning. Now, by God’s grace, I dull the noise by getting up and working on my classes.

I started my doctorate at Argosy but felt that something huge was missing. I found CLU by Googling “Doctoral Programs at Christian Colleges.” For weeks, I read about the courses and was always drawn to Christian Counseling classes, even though I am a teacher. Maybe hurting people are the ones drawn into the counseling profession because they are hurting, or have been in the past, and are searching for answers. My many nights of tears and prayers had not stilled my aching heart.

CLU, and classes like this, put into tangible words what I needed to read and hear in order for the healing process to begin. Scriptures that I’ve read ever since childhood put in this context reminded me I am not alone on the planet. They are passages to heal the aching heart and soften the pain of loss.

Originally, I took Randy’s death as a personal affront that I had been victimized by God. I could not understand why the love I had felt all my life emitting from heaven had disappeared in one stopped heartbeat. This class has reminded me that God does not punish us in such ways. It is only Satan and those quiet whispers of guilt that make us think such things. It also reminded me this is not my permanent home. God is my focus; but when I take my eyes off Him, my life becomes a knotted puddle of pain.

The consistency of working on a class like this and my personal issues popping up on almost every page keeps me moving forward and healing a baby step at a time. I am getting my certification in Christian Counseling with the prayer that I may help others walk safely through their pain on to the light on the other side. “Yea, though I walk thru the valley of death, I will fear no evil; for Thou art with me” (Ps. 23:4).

The course has consistently reminded me that God is the One in charge and His will shall be done in my life. Success is freedom from past hurts and God giving me an ability to move forward to new life. I believe this class and the consistency of working on these issues in every assignment have helped to guide me into the future God wants me to have.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed at the capacity for writing the Lord gave Patti and Mark Virkler and how the materials touch my soul. This is my sixth class and after numerous books, I still feel the outpouring of the Holy Spirit in every component of their writing. I feel blessed to have these resources speaking to my heart and the opportunity to advance in the direction the Lord wants me to go with the support of CLU.

How to Connect with CLU Students and Alumni

Koinonia Network:
The Online Home for Spirit-Filled Believers

Looking for a new way to meet your peers who are currently enrolled in CLU, or those who have taken this educational journey in the past? Now it's easier than ever! Koinonia Network is created as an alternative to MySpace and Facebook. It is for all Christians who profess to love, serve and obey Christ and hunger to walk in intimacy with the Holy Spirit.

If you have a Facebook account, you can also get involved there:

facebook.com/ChristianLeadershipUniversity
facebook.com/CommunionWithGod (the parent organization of CLU)